Harry Potter and the Price of Victory
by zArkham
Summary: The real world has consequences. The real world does not have a Disney ending. Real horrors live on after the quest is completed, the villain defeated and one has ridden off into the sunset. With these horrors comes nightmares and paranoia which can lead to the unthinkable. The Wizarding world has a habit of ignoring problems. This habit leads to tragedy. (Character Death)


**DISCLAIMER THE FIRST: **_It is by JKR's writing alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the grace of coffee that thoughts acquire speed, the back acquires strains, the strains become a warning. The warning is that I make no money from this. It is by JKR's writing alone I set my mind in motion. _

**PITHY STATEMENT RELATING TO THIS CHAPTER**: "_The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage_." **Chuck Palahniuk** –American novelist and freelance journalist – 1962-

**Last Updated**: 03-20-2014

**XxXxX**

**HARRY POTTER AND THE PRICE OF VICTORY**

**[TRIGGER WARNINGS: This is a sad fic with character death]**

**XxXxX**

**SOMEWHERE UNDERGROUND, LONDON**** – AUGUST 21****st**** 2003 – PRE-DAWN**

"Daddy, I'm scared!"

Harry turned to Teddy who was clutching his hand in a grip surprising strong for a 6 year old while clutching his Teddy's Bear tightly in the other. The wild, wide-eyed look suddenly reminded Harry of the look Ron had when…when…when.

_Spiders! So many spiders! Why hadn't Arthur charmed the glass? Ron's girly scream. Legs, pincers and all those beady eyes!_

"Daddy!" Teddy screamed.

Harry's head jerked up. He found himself on his knees in the muck. Had he fallen over? He shook his head in an attempt to clear it. Come on Potter! Keep it together! They're probably getting closer.

As if almost on cue, a spell shot out of the darkness and impacted just to the left of Harry. Ignoring Teddy's scream of fear, Harry instinctively shot of a bone-breaker curse back the way the curse came.

"Come on Teddy! We're almost to the next safe house!"

"You said the last place was safe!" Teddy wailed.

Harry didn't reply because he didn't have the heart to tell his godson, son in all but name, that there was never any safety. Enemies were all around. They never stopped coming. Killing Voldemort had stopped nothing.

Harry shot off a variety of spells down the passageway and was rewarded with a scream followed by other shouts of concern. A feral grin lit up his otherwise exhausted face. Indeed most wouldn't recognized the disheveled man as being the Chosen One. If anything, Harry might be mistaken for Sirius Black after he had escaped from Azkaban.

He cast another spell which quickly filled the passageways with an oily, evil smelling smoke. "Come on Teddy! Just a little further and we can rest."

Harry turned to go but he found he was dragging Teddy who seem rooted to the spot. Harry could see him quivering in fear and crying. Harry almost stunned him to make better time, but as his wand came around, he blatantly remembered his vow. He'd never use his wand on his children again.

Never again. Not after that day. That terrible day when things had become so terribly clear.

Instead he tapped his wand on Teddy's nose, "How about I carry you, sport? I'll get us to safety. I won't let you down Teddy; you're the only thing worth keeping going for."

Teddy simply blinked away some tears but didn't reply so Harry bundled him up into his arms and quickly made his way down a side-passageway. It was a risk given how encumbered his arms were now but it was a risk Harry knew he had to take. Without Teddy…

Blank hazel eyes stared back at him. The face so still as if asleep if the dead eyes weren't staring back at him. Then pain and more pain. The Red yelling in anger and attacking with a fierceness which he had barely beaten down.

Harry moaned and blinked his eyes open. Damn Dumbledore's twinkly eyes! These visions, these memories kept blind-siding him. He had to keep moving; the Reds were coming.

Even now the Reds still came. He was sure he had killed at least three or four of them. Maybe more. It was hard to remember anymore. The secret enemy, the hidden enemy. The enemy which wore the face of family and friends and yet had betrayed Harry again and again.

Harry snarled as he sloshed through the water flowing around his feet. He wouldn't let Teddy down and let the Reds get him! He had failed everyone. EVERYONE! Especially her. But he wouldn't let Teddy down. Never Teddy.

Harry's breath came out in jagged gasps in counterpoint to the whimpers and snivels Teddy made into his ear. These sounds help drive Harry on towards safety even if they did sound like…like…

"_You bastard! How could you do this to Ginny?_"

"_What have you done?_"

"_She was your wife!_"

"_Please! Please no more! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Whatever I did; I'm sorry_"

"_You'll pay for that Potter!_"

Harry hissed out a rather nasty parseltongue curse. The evil sounding language always helped to stop the voices. Unfortunately it tended to…

"You're going to fail, you know Harry."

Harry turned his head and saw Remus looking at him from one of the side-passages. The blood still pouring out from around the silver dagger in his chest.

"Just like you did? Ha! I'm not worthless like you! Too bad Tonks snuck away from Andromeda! I would have made her happy and not led her to her death like you did! Some father you were!"

"And you Harry? At least Remus died fighting for his children. I think that's just a tad different than what you did."

Harry turned to see Sirius glowering at him.

"I did what I had to do! The Reds wanted it. They wanted the gold, the power and all that was left to me! I saw through it all at the last! They were just part of it! Poisoned from the beginning!"

"I'm sure that helps you sleep at night," Remus said with a sneer.

"Yes, I'm sure your father will be so proud of how you protected House Potter from children," Sirius agreed.

"Shut up! You're both dead and are keeping me from doing what I have to do!" Harry screamed as he forged past the annoying shades who simply dissolved into mocking laugher behind him.

Yet this laughter didn't cover up the sound of a shout, "Down this way!" from further down the passageway. Harry scowled. Just like Remus and Sirius to slow him down and let his enemies catch up. They betrayed him in death as they had betrayed him in life.

Everyone else had so Harry had to marvel why he always was surprised anew that his father's friends continued to stab him even now. A bitter, bitter laugh escaped Harry as he thought the two Marauder's 'next great adventure' was fucking with him. Story of his life.

Harry turned a corner and let out a small cry of relief. One of his better safe houses. Harry quickly went to the door and gently set the still whimpering Teddy down to one side. He pulled out the Elder Wand and began the intricate opening sequence with a series of taps to the many runes carved into the door.

"_You filthy grave robber!_"

"_How could you?_"

"_I'll kill you for this!_"

"_Molly! Oh Merlin what did you do to her?_"

"_**Confringo!**_"

Harry ducked at the last one. Regardless of how much the voices mocked him, he knew a spell when he heard one. A chunk of wall to his left blew out as Harry whirled and yelled, "Alpha Activate!"

Farther down the passage a blast of light appeared which quickly was followed by screams. Harry laughed at the sounds of his enemies dying. Did they think he was so green that he'd not have preset traps? "Beta Activate."

This was a risk but unknown to his enemies, sewer gasses were being diverted towards his enemies. The Reds like fire spells and this would be their undoing.

Harry quickly turned back to the door and restarted the opening sequence. He gritted his teeth and the necessity of such a lengthy process to get the door open but it had been worth it for the protection it afforded.

The screams behind him died down as he heard muffled spells going off. Harry knew he didn't have much time but he knew they would make it. He turned to Teddy, "Don't be frightened. We're almost there!"

Teddy hugged Teddy's Bear to his chest and simply nodded.

"Give it up Potter! There is nowhere left to run!"

For once, the Universe seemed to relent as the door opened in spite of what the Red behind him had just said. Harry grabbed Teddy and practically tossed him into the safe room.

"I'm through running! Merlin himself won't be able to get in here!" Harry said with a sneer he felt would make Snape proud.

Out of the gloom Harry saw a Red edge closer followed by a bunch of the Brown Coats. Harry frowned at this. He'd once been proud to wear one of those coats before he figured out the truth. Who would have thought that under all that waffle about rotting fangs, Luna had been right all along about the conspiracy. They _**had**_ been out to get him. They all had.

"_I'll have that badge now_"

"_You are a disgrace to the uniform!_"

"_How could you?_"

"_Oh Harry! It's not what you think! Please!"_

"_Don't ever think I can't see what's going on here._"

"_What have you done?_"

The Red waved for the Brown Coats to fan out. Harry laughed at this given the passageway was only 3 meters wide. One wide-angle bludgeoning curse would take them all out. This Red had always been more of a worthless desk jockey. Not like the first Red he'd taken out. That had been a fight. Even if victory had come at a cost that had been so terribly, terribly high.

"Give it up Potter! Release Teddy and come quietly!"

"Never!" Harry shouted and silently cast a special shield. In response spells quickly lanced their way through the gloom. None penetrated his shield. Yet none of the Brown Coats realized the shield was there for more than spell protection. It create a air-tight seal around him and the wall behind him.

Sure enough the Red sniffed in disdain, "You idiots! Can't you do anything right? I'm ending this now! _**Incendio Maxima!**_"

Harry turned his head away as the flames rushed towards him. Yet it wasn't out of fear but more because he knew what was coming. Sure enough the flash of the explosion was bright against even his closed eyes. He felt his shield waiver so he sent a wave of power back into it.

After a few seconds the inferno ebbed leaving Harry alone in the doorway along with a pile of burning corpses. He looked at the fallen Red. While some of them had been good, some had been sneaky, in the end the Reds were stupid. It's why they had to sneak around with their plots and potions; never could stand up in a real fight.

Harry turned and was about to seal the door when there was a flash of silver. Harry turned in horror. Not here! Not now!

His greatest mistake. His greatest failure.

The silvery otter stared back at him. Harry felt as if it was judging him unworthy.

"Harry this has to stop. Let me help, please."

No! Not her!

"Auntie Mi!" Teddy's happy cry from behind him was like a dagger in his heart.

As much as it hurt, he couldn't fault his godson. She was his godmother after all. The only enemy he knew he couldn't win against. Even after her betrayal and siding with the Reds. Even after that most glorious of betrayals, he couldn't do it.

Harry just stared at the hovering otter. Suddenly a wave of anger and hate washed through. How could she still have any memories to fuel a patronus? After all the death? The betrayal? All of the shit after Voldemort's fall when everything was supposed to be better? Wasn't that how it was supposed to happen? The villain felled, the Hero got the girl and everyone lived happily ever after. Everything was supposed to be happy.

"Harry, please," a voice pleaded softly.

Harry's head jerked up as the otter dissipated. She stood not 4 meters away. Her wand was pointed at him but there wasn't the feeling of menace or threat. She knew. She had always knew he could never fight Teddy's godmother. He'd burn the world around him but he couldn't do that to Teddy.

He had promised not to fail him like everyone had failed him.

Now looking down Hermione's wand, Harry realized that he had. He couldn't fight her and she could stop him before he closed the door.

It was over.

His enemies had won. After all the plots uncovered, enemies killed and Reds put down for their treachery, it was all for nothing.

He had lost.

The shame of it welled up in him. They would take Teddy, seduce him with their lies and leach House Black out of him. Just as they'd send him in chains to the Wizengamot and strip him of everything before finally giving him up to the Dementors. It's what they had always wanted to do; all of them!

He should have see it so long ago with Hagrid. That first day. The lies, the envy, the hate, and the greed.

All of that would win because of the one person Harry just could not fight against. His greatest weakness; his greatest failure.

He had nothing now. Even the pity in her eyes stabbed him to the core.

"Harry please, just let me talk to you for a bit. I have something important to tell you," Hermione said earnestly.

Harry shook his head. The time for listening, the time of lies was over.

There was nothing left for him. Better to spare Teddy seeing him humiliated and Kissed. It was better this way. Better for everyone.

"Harry! No!" Hermione suddenly cried.

"_**Avada Kedavra!**_"

**OoOoO**

Hermione numbly watched as Luna tucked her godson's Teddy's Bear under the blanket as the auror healers prepared to apparated the stretcher to St. Mungo's. She was thankful for Luna's presence because right now almost all of her being was tied up in the black body bag being carried up by two grim-faced aurors.

Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, the Chosen One, the Man-Who-Conquered was dead. Dead by his own hand. By a spell that require intense hatred to use successfully.

A wizard who didn't have it in him to curse Bellatrix LeStrange after Sirius' murder had enough hate in his heart for himself that he'd snuffed himself out like his parent's lives had been before him.

Harry Potter, the raven-haired boy with the tape on his glasses. The boy she had secretly fallen in love with. If only things had been different! If only…

"Well he's finally dead. Now my family is finally avenged. Thank Merlin!"

Hermione turned to see Ron's wheelchair magical making its way toward her. The stubs of his legs covered under the hideous Chudley Canon orange blanket. The sleeve on his left arm was sewn up right above where his elbow used to be. The eye-patch over his ruined left eye was the same ghastly orange as the blanket.

Hermione looked at her ex-husband. Once again Ron opened his mouth and stupidity came out. "Really Ron? Your family is avenged? Need I remind you it was your mother who brewed the potions which got Harry to notice Ginny just as they got me to notice you. If was your family that pressured Harry to marry Ginny simply because they had been having sex. Never mind almost everyone was doing it as a simple celebration of being alive after the war."

Ron's face darkened, "Don't give me that shit, Hermione! He killed Ginny! He killed his own kids! Bill! George and now Percy! My mum is dead because of him! Hell can have him!"

Hermione laughed bitterly, "Harry was living in hell since his parents died. He simply traded the Dursleys for the Weasleys. And to think I let him do it! All thanks to your mum. If you're going to blame someone for today, then at least have the decency to put the blame where it truly belongs."

Hermione looked back at the body bag being loaded onto a stretcher. Shacklebolt stood near it, his normally stoic face creased with sadness. "I hope Dumbledore is rotting in Hell for his part in all this."

"Don't you dare blame Dumbledore or my mum for Harry! We should have seen he was a nutter almost from Day One! Why else would Dumbledore set him up to die? He was tainted! I'm betting all that crap Harry spouted about King's Cross was just a dodge to cover-up he had weaseled out of the death Dumbledore foresaw him needing! Why else wouldn't Dumbledore have trained him?" Ron said, his face almost as red as his hair.

Hermione turned to ex-husband; her face as cold as snow-capped mountains around Hogwarts, "Ron, if you value your life, I suggest you stop talking. For that matter when it comes to Harry, I _**strongly**_ suggest you never bring it up in my presence again. I'm tired of this fantasy world you Weasleys created for yourself. I'm tired of the lies, the rationalizations and the half-truths. Your mum and Dumbledore both are guilty of manipulating Harry's life. He was primed to go to a martyr's death because fundamentally, Harry was raised to see himself as nothing. Only through others and a desire to protect them did he have a reason to carry on even if that meant going to his death that day in the Forest."

Hermione pointed to the body bag, "After the war, no one wanted to listen to his problems. No one wanted to think about how badly their Hero was suffering. Truthfully we all tried to shove our problems about the War under the rug and pretend everything was okay. We ignored the signs. We ignored Harry most of all because we all were complicit with his breakdown."

"That's crap, Hermione and you know it!" Ron said hotly.

Hermione almost blinked in surprise as she found her wand pointed at Ron's forehead. Ron gulped at this. Hermione lowered her wand. She didn't trust herself not to hex the git if she kept it trained on him.

"Is it?" Hermione asked. "I sat and watch my friend slip into madness and only made token efforts to help him. Sure I was wrapped up with my own problems especially the one I caused with my parents. Yet I should have known when it came out about the potions that Harry would see it as the final betrayal. By then Harry couldn't even trust me. And because of that, here we are."

"Yes here we are! Most of my family is dead Hermione! Harry's lucky he killed himself and avoided what I would have done to him!"

Hermione laughed bitterly, "Give up the tough guy act, Ron. No one is going to fall for it. Harry was half dead defeating Bill and he still cut you up like your were dog-food. You can lie to yourself all you want but you only are alive because Harry wouldn't attack me. And what about Fleur? She was just unlucky enough for her and her sister to owe a life-debt to Harry. For her trouble both debts were bound together twisted so the potions would allow her to marry Bill. All courtesy of your precious Dumbledore! I don't blame Bill, but what happened when it all came out shouldn't have surprised anyone."

"He was shagging Fleur! Bill was in his rights to attack him!" Ron sputtered.

Hermione shook her head tiredly, "Ron just shut up. You never bothered to learn about Veelas. You were too busy trying to cover up you leering at Fleur or wanking off to pictures of her in her bathing suit or less. I still wonder how you managed that or was Bill willing to share the visual wealth with his brothers?"

"Hey!" Ron said as his face turned red again. This time it was in embarrassment instead of anger.

"The truth hurts doesn't it? Perhaps you shouldn't have left your wife to do most of the cleaning. Then perhaps your porn stash might have stayed hidden," Hermione said sweetly.

Ron scowled, "It still wasn't right!"

"I don't care what you think Ron," Hermione said tartly. "When those life-debts became unbound, the magic roared through both of them. They weren't cheating on Bill or Ginny; they were caught up in magic delayed. So instead of being an adult and taking a step back to figure out what was going on, you just rushed in, made assumptions and attacked Harry for Ginny's sake. Bill didn't get involved because he was trying to punish Harry; he was trying to save your worthless hide! Then as things heated up, his latent werewolf curse started to push him into the anger which led to Harry killing him! He died because you couldn't keep from hexing before thinking."

Ron looked away at this. "You wouldn't understand about defending your family's honor!"

Hermione laughed bitterly again, "Of course not. I'm just a stupid, bossy little know-it-all mudblood after all as Percy often said when he didn't think I could hear him." Hermione poke Ron in what remained of his left arm, "I recall you muttering the same under your breath even while we were married.

Ron batted at her wand with his remaining hand but said nothing.

Hermione snorted at this, "So tell me, how did defending Ginny's honor turn out? Bill dead, Fleur dead, you ending up like Professor Kettleburn and the whole incident tipping Harry down the path which leads us to today. If you hadn't shot that first spell, maybe, just maybe we wouldn't be here today and Harry might still be alive."

Ron kept silent, his face still turned away from her.

"But you Weasleys couldn't back down. No Molly and Percy just had to fan the flames. That DMLE order Percy finagled out of Dawlish just cemented in Harry's mind that the Ministry was out to get him. Then Ginny had to shoot her mouth off about House Potter. Stupid bint!"

Ron turned back towards her, his face a mask of rage, "Don't you dare say that about Ginny!"

"Why not?" Hermione shot back. "Harry was sick. He was traumatized and the one of the people who most benefitted from your mum's potions had the stupidity to imply that no matter how bad it seemed, it was for the best. She might have well glamoured herself into Dumbledore and told Harry it was for the Greater Good! Of course someone as paranoid as Harry had become would react poorly to this! Do you think I liked seeing Harry's children dead at his hand? Merlin no! But I have the integrity to admit I can see the twisted logic of why Harry felt he had to kill them. Ginny's comments made them "Reds" to his eyes and Reds were the enemy."

"Well I'm glad he's dead. You're filled with big words as usual. It doesn't matter. Harry got what he deserved." Ron spat back with his usual way of ignoring everything she had just said.

"What he deserved? Ronald Bilius Weasley, if Harry got what he deserved, it would be you in that body bag. You are probably more to blame for all of this than Dumbledore or your mum combined," Hermione said in a voice as cold as death.

"What do you mean?" Ron sputtered in surprise.

"You were his supposed best mate. The friend one can turn to when things get really rough. The one who can help you get through life's trouble. Yet all you did was drag him down. You kept him from studying with your chess and endless quidditch talk. You talked him into easy classes when he needed to be studying because even if he wasn't the Chosen One, he still need to shoulder the burden of being Lord Potter. And when your pride took a hit, you bailed on him again and again," Hermione explained.

Ron opened his mouth but Hermione cut him off, "Given his upbringing, Harry had little reason to trust and you, his supposed best mate, betrayed him over and over. And don't give me that tired excuse about the locket. Harry had more horrors in his head before going to Hogwarts then you could imagine to say nothing of having a piece of _**Voldemort's fucking soul**_ in his scar and yet he didn't crack. You? You left blubbering about being hungry! We should have left you behind and taken Luna on the horcrux hunt instead! That was _**my**_ mistake."

"And now Harry is dead because none of us wanted to step forward and admit Harry had a problem. No one wanted to be the first one to step up and say the Hero had no clothes because then we all would have had to admit to what had really happened, what we allowed to happen. What we all were in some ways complicit with," Hermione said, sadness filling her words as the tears she had so desperately been holding back finally started to flow.

"It was our final betrayal. We all ignored Harry, our PTSD poster-child, because it was easier to let him go into madness than admit we ourselves had problems and that the post-war happiness was a lie," Hermione whispered.

"Our selfishness and fear of what other people might think of us if we admitted we needed help is what killed Harry. Our silence let a man, a hero who literally died for us, go so far down a dark road that he had enough hatred of himself to use the killing curse on himself," Hermione said.

She looked at Ron who had the grace to look guilty, "And for the love of God, Ron, if I ever so much as hear you speak ill of Harry again, you will be wishing for death. I failed Harry in life, but I swear now and forever I will do right by him and his name in death."

Without looking back, Hermione walked over to where Shacklebolt had been waiting by the body bag. As she walked up and ran a hand along it, he asked quietly, "So he died not knowing?"

Hermione shook her head, "I didn't have time. In the end I don't think it would have matter. It was a self-serving plot after all."

Shacklebolt scowled, "Hermione, you loved him. That's hardly self-serving!"

Hermione looked at the auror with fire in her eyes, "Wasn't it? Seducing him, getting pregnant hoping that a child of ours would help anchor him? No matter our good intentions, Shack, we were manipulating him just as much as everyone else. All I can do now is raise Harry's baby to be a better person than I am and hope I can help Teddy through what he's had to go through."

Hermione looked down at the bag which covered her first real friend and love, "I failed him; I can't fail them."

Shacklebolt watched as Hermione closed her eyes as the tears flowed freely. His heart felt like it was being gripped by an icy hand. He had heard Harry say similar things before and after his breakdown. Would history repeat which Hermione?

Shacklebolt sighed to himself. Sometimes it seemed everyone was suffering for the sins of the past and doomed to pass these on to the next generation. As he activated the portkey which would take him, Hermione and the Harry's body away, he prayed that Hermione would break this cycle for all of their sakes.

**XxXxX**

**A/N**: For all this is a sad fic, it stems from a humorous comment _**xavierp**_ made in a bout of back-and-fourth comments regarding HP & Hogwarts U. We were discussing JKR's terrible way of having no loyalty to her own creations.

He said, "_And yeah, I can see an omake where HP wakes up at 3 in the morning and bundles the family down to a tightly protected shelter where he sits there with a knife in one hand and a wand in the other waiting for dawn. And where Ron keeps getting stabbed because he keeps surprising Harry_."

This struck me as funny. My laughter got me a disproving look from my wife as it had startled our cat Grendel. The problem as a combat vet with PTSD who finally is breaking down to get some treatment, I am fully aware that amount of combat vets who have committed suicide outnumber the amount killed in both OIF and OEF.

Veterans do their duty and come home to betrayal at every turn. Always money there for war, borrowing after borrowing but now when the vets need help, their care is a 'financial burden' and needs to be trimmed back. Everyone says support the troops but few actually follow through especially when it comes to hiring.

For me this was easy and hard to write. Left unwritten is the years where Harry is asked why he "just get over it" like it's just a matter of ordering your mind properly and everything will be okay. Glossed over is the sudden sounds which cause you to panic, your heart racing. Left out is the sudden feelings of emotions which come out of nowhere and suddenly your right back to where you were regardless of the years which have gone by.

In regards to JKR's work, given what happened to the Golden Trio throughout the books, it doesn't look good for them. As bad as Harry has it, given Ron's *worst* fear is spiders, I think the CoS movie makes it plain Ron probably has been wetting his bed since Second Year. Indeed, after the Battle of Hogwarts, I wonder how many of the students later get really peeved that it was they who shoulder the bulk of the fighting while their parents and the rest of Magical Britain's adults were safe at home.

Oh and also left unsaid is George probably went after Harry with little care because it was a way to get himself killed without actually committing suicide.

BTW, Teddy's Bear is a joke, not a mistake.

12


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